So many of the choices we make, whether consciously or unconsciously, are aimed at avoiding the feeling of loneliness that comes with being alone.
After years of questioning and disbelief, I have established a connection with the Divine that has largely eliminated any possibility of feeling lonely in my life. Let me explain how this transformation occurred and how it can happen for you as well.
Our lives are filled with responsibilities and the pressures of our families, children, and the various personalities we encounter in our environments. As a result, we often yearn for “alone time” or “self-care time” in order to alleviate the overwhelming demands and establish boundaries. We long for stillness and seek respite from the ceaseless chatter of our minds, yearning for our brains to quiet down and rest.
However, spending a short period alone, whether in a yoga class or engaging in our favorite self-care practices, is not the same as experiencing prolonged solitude that allows us to truly sense loneliness.
Loneliness is something we strive to avoid at all costs. We go to great lengths to prevent it, fearing its arrival like the Plague, leprosy, or even COVID. Out of this fear, we tolerate many undesirable situations, convincing ourselves that it’s too late to change, that things are good enough, or that we’ve grown accustomed to our current circumstances. We construct relationships and marriages based on this mindset, ensuring that we never feel alone.
We make do with what we have. We keep our schedules packed and our days meticulously planned. And when we do find ourselves with some alone time, when we’re not completely drained, it becomes frightening to confront the emotions that lie within.
It’s downright terrifying.
Most of us struggle to fully comprehend the phrase: “We are born alone and we die alone.”
I can’t pinpoint exactly when my consciousness, inner voice, or belief system began to shift. I vaguely recall briefly considering becoming a nun during elementary school, probably because the nun I knew seemed kinder and had gentler eyes than my mother. I had a hallucination one night while under the influence of drugs during my time at Berkeley, which prompted me to contemplate the possibilities of alternate realities. As an active child, I always felt invigorated by physical exertion, the sense of teamwork, and the satisfaction of making an effort. I started practicing yoga when I was around 23 or 24, before it gained popularity. It was considered fringe and far from cool. My friends, including my boyfriend at the time, were all cooler than me and had no interest in yoga. Yet, there was something about it that kept drawing me back. It was a sanctuary where I could reconnect with myself and find solace in something greater than the monotonous routine of daily life.
Somewhere along the many years of my existence, I began to establish a connection with what I can only describe as God or the Divine. It began with an awareness of my body and a conscious acknowledgment of its sensations. During conversations with others, I started to pay attention to what resonated as genuine and true to me, as well as the people who consistently made me feel good in their presence. Yoga, and occasionally other forms of exercise, played a crucial role in this initial awakening.
All the practices associated with the yoga lifestyle were instrumental. I started with the physical postures, gradually incorporating pranayama, meditation, mantras, an Ayurvedic diet, herbal remedies, daily self-massage with oil, tongue scraping, and most recently, yoga nidra.
I began to discover guidance for my life everywhere I turned. Ancient Vedic texts from Southern India certainly provided invaluable wisdom, but surprisingly, I also found profound insights in Instagram Reels and encounters with strangers on the street. I believe this is what the teachings refer to as the presence of God everywhere and in everything.
Everything is divine. Whenever I sense loneliness encroaching, I consciously relax, tune into my body, and connect with something meaningful to me. It could be as simple as listening to the birds’ melodies in the morning, gazing at the night sky, noticing the breeze and its influence on nature, or reminding myself that I am loved and protected by an indescribable force—the Divine. And the same holds true for you.
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