Father’s Day reflections come in many forms — for some, it’s a day of gratitude; for others, it brings complexity, absence, or longing. For me, it’s a bit of everything. My dad turns 89 this week, and I’ve been thinking about what it means to witness someone age with dignity and effort — and how that ties into Ayurveda and karma, and our ability to meet life as it is.
I don’t see my father often, but I do see him. He’s a man’s man with a domestic streak — keeps his house and car clean, cooks for himself (not just BBQ!), and still volunteers planting redwood saplings in the Sequoia National Forest.
He turns 89 in a few days. Born in 1936, he’s still sharp and vibrant. He drives himself to visit family in Wyoming and Colorado once a year, stays active in his Rotary club, and keeps his garden fresh. I don’t know all that he does, but I know he lives with dignity and effort.
We’ve had our differences. I won’t list them here, but like many of you, I’ve had to do the work to process what was and what wasn’t — the father I had, the one I needed, the one I imagined.
What I see now is that many of the difficulties my dad experienced were unexpected and unwanted. Like most of us, he carried pain that didn’t always have a place to land. Being a dad doesn’t mean that all those things don’t hurt. His divorce at nearly 80 shook his faith and his identity. A devout Catholic, the split went against everything he was raised to believe about what a man does and doesn’t do. I’m sure it was complex for him. I could only observe from the outside.
This is where karma comes in.
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Ayurveda Insight Box: Karma, Tapas & Inner Strength
The Role of Karma and Tapas
In Ayurveda, karma is not punishment or reward — it’s the natural consequence of how we meet the moment. When we act with awareness, we build ojas (vitality) and strengthen our agni (inner fire). When we avoid, suppress, or react without clarity, we may accumulate ama (toxins)—not just in the body, but in the mind and emotional heart.
This is where tapas comes in. Tapas means “heat,” and refers to the disciplined effort we make to transform pain, confusion, or limitation into something meaningful. The daily choice to show up — with love, with integrity, with effort — is itself a healing act.
Whether you had a strong father figure or not, the Ayurvedic path invites us to cultivate these qualities within. That’s the deeper Father principle: protection, steadiness, and the courage to keep going.
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Karma isn’t just about doing what’s right or suffering when we do something wrong. It’s about how we meet life. How we respond. How we show up — especially when things don’t go the way we hoped.
Having a strong father figure might make you feel safe. Lacking one might push you to find that inner steadiness for yourself. Sometimes the greatest gift a father offers isn’t what he gives, but what he unintentionally inspires: a deeper search for self. Effort matters. The right effort helps us evolve — and maybe even helps the world.
Whether you had a strong father figure or not, the lens of Ayurveda and karma reminds us that effort heals and presence matters.
As my dad drives up this weekend to celebrate my younger daughter’s graduation, his 89th birthday, and Father’s Day all in one go, I’m struck by the simple beauty of showing up — of keeping effort alive in our lives, in whatever form it takes.
However you mark the day, I hope you take a moment to reflect on the meaning, presence, and experience of the Father in your life — whatever form that takes.
Here are the Fathers Days Reflections I invite you to consider:
- Who has held the father role in your life?
- How has that shaped your own karmic path?
- What kind of effort are you being asked to make now?
Warmly,
Marisa
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